It is approximately one day after my birthday, and I can say that this has been a defining year; not only for growth, but also for understanding myself in a way that I didn’t know was possible. My main focus last year was to break out of my shell and be more comfortable with the woman I have grown into. I have done that and evolved into this super independent adult that is taking whatever obstacle that is thrown at her and seeing the positives that come about. I’ve developed a loyal following of people that are inspired and intrigued with the pieces that I’ve written and couldn’t be more grateful. 25 was a dope year man; I’ve worked so hard, and done so much, but I’m ready for more.
25 has probably been my most outspoken year to date; I’ve shied away from being quiet and really spoke my mind when I needed to. I’ve been direct/straight to the point and either it was taken with respect, or out of context, which is totally fine; not everyone I come in contact with is meant to understand me. Last year included wake up calls and figuring things out, and this year was definitely about grasping what is occurring and letting go/moving forward. Holding onto people/situations that I so desperately wanted but understood weren’t vital to me was my hardest pill to swallow. As I’ve said in a previous piece, the need is minuscule compared to any want and over the year I’ve realized that I no longer want certain things, no matter how badly I think I may do. I’m very driven and plan my every move accordingly to reach the goals that I am trying to obtain. Visualizing my accomplishments is what gets me through the day, because I know that I am destined for something amazing, even though I am not completely sure what it may be.
My biggest accomplishment this year has to be moving; this was such a major decision and I love that I did it. Now, let me be completely transparent, living on your own is a challenge; depression is real and mental health is very very important. We are all aware of our terrible economy, so you can understand the typical stress that can accompany providing everything for yourself, working hard and still ending up a couple coins short. I’ve had my very low moments centered around that, and I’ve vented to the right people who I love dearly, but since I’m by myself 99% of the time it was essential to look out for ME. I wake up everyday and make sure that I have a plan, a task, something to keep me going. I’ve taken social media breaks, I’ve meditated, read uplifting works, just little things to keep a level head. I bought a plant, curated an R&B playlist on my phone that I blast daily and these little things are what keep me happy. Do you know how good I feel when I’m singing in my apartment at the top of my lungs to some Daniel Caesar? It’s a natural high that I cherish. I used to compare my situations to other people, but this year allowed me to stop that entirely. You’ve grown up Rakiya, truly. I’ve never been in a position where I felt like I’ve had no one in my corner, and a lot of people can’t say that; the world is fairly cold.
As for the people that I’ve decided to let go, it was excruciatingly hard to do, but it needed to be done. The word “toxicity” comes to mind when certain people cross my mind, not meant as a cliché, but there were people this year that I really needed to detach myself from. All in all, I don’t have an ounce of hate for anyone that I had to let go; I simply love from a distance. I’d still be kind if we had to cross paths, but these people are not in a position to receive the pieces of me that I once gave. From time to time, I find myself missing them, and it is okay to miss someone you’re mad at, but I don’t take it farther than my thoughts. The closure was received, and life goes on. I think when people get the proper closure they need, it’s easy to feel no malice in your heart; you’re actually at peace. I’m working on being my own peace before any and everything, and I hope my readers practice this as well.
For the upcoming year, I want to live by nothing but positive affirmations. I want to branch out from the norm that my readers have grown used to. More content, more pieces that you guys can relate to. Just more. As I embark on another year of positivity, I want my readers to do the same. Find out what truly makes you happy and go for it. Being happy builds a better you and although life can get exceptionally hard, know that it is okay to struggle, it Is okay to cry, it is okay to feel things we may not want to feel; but feel these things only for a moment and pick yourself up. Life is always going to go on, so let go and make something for yourself. You want to go back to school? Enroll. You want to start a business? Get it poppin’. You are the reason for your happiness, and you create the lane that you want to be in; don’t ever feel like a task is impossible to achieve, because if you believe in your passion or craft, trust me, you will get it done. So here’s a cheers to positivity and another year of thriving. Thank you guys so much for reading!