I've named this piece "Insecure", because it's Hella Relevant.
There is a great gain in finding yourself; I think that mental growth is truly needed and once you obtain that, anything is humanely possible. For years I've been extremely insecure about myself, and I never really had a legitimate reason as to why.
Overcoming insecurities are a part of life and this can dive into many aspects. Insecure means that you are not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious. Why do we think like that? Why do we get into moments of uncertainty and talk ourselves out of something; we think low of ourselves as if we are not good enough. For a long time, my biggest insecurity was speaking up; I used to love falling back and being silent and allowing for people to speak for me. I was always worried of judgement, which I think is a main factor for people not living their best life.
Judgement has got to be the root of all evils and insecurities. Everyone lives life differently and in their own way, so who are you to judge the next person because they tie their shoes differently compared to how you tie yours? When I was younger, I always felt like no matter my decision I would be judged; especially in college. Your name and the way you carry yourself is everything when you see the same people everyday, and that definitely meant a lot to me back then.
Another insecurity that I faced dealt with my interactions with people I cared about. Whether it is a close friend or a boyfriend at that time; I always felt weird discussing or opening my feelings to a person. If I was dating someone and had an issue, I would never step forward and it would either be pulled out of me, or gone unnoticed. You should never feel the need to hide how you truly feel towards someone whether it's good or bad; just let that shit out.
Dabbling even further into relationships, I was really insecure in regards to my own boyfriends. That always worried about what they're doing and who they're talking to phase was such a mind controller; it's draining. All of that energy wasted on being worried. I think this is a general problem women face until they learn how to get over it. I can say for myself that I've gone crazy over a person that I was with because of being insecure. That alone can damage a relationship; I get it, trust is a main factor but you need to learn your own value and realize that anyone that has the gall to cross you, doesn't see your true potential. So why worry? Be confident in who you share yourself with.
I'm Hella Poppin; you outcho mind if you don't want me.
At this particular point in my life, I'm not insecure about anything. Why should I be? Life is precious, and it needs to be lived beautifully. Got a plan? Execute it. Something's on your mind? Speak on it. You love someone? Tell them. Don't. Hold. Back.
I'm pretty forward and open with my feelings; I'm beyond confident in myself. Conquering this unnecessary fear did take some time; over the years I've learned to love being by myself so that naturally helped. When you take time out of your day to figure out who you are, certain things don't really bother you anymore. I walk with a purpose, and I cherish everything life has to offer. I don't hold back and that is why I am here today sharing stories of vulnerability and being as honest as possible, because I know there is someone out there that has been in my shoes before, or is currently at a stand-still now.
You're Hella Dope, Let The World Know.