I adore life, and all it has to offer. It is remarkable to see what it can throw at you, and in cases where it hurts to the point where you're questioning your very existence, I also admire the wake up call it enforces. Life is a healing process, and taking a moment to breathe is extremely essential. In your twenties, I believe that self care should always be a priority. Self care is not simply taking a bath, and listening to uplifting or semi-depressing music, self care is taking your time and deeply thinking about your life decisions. Yes, treat yourself, but having the realization that you can overcome any obstacle and sticking to that realization is what self care is all about. Realizing the difference between "needs" and "wants" is self care as well. Protect Your Energy.
I struggle to not stress over things that I cannot control. I've accepted that you cannot change anyone's mind, especially if their mind is already made up, and I'm completely okay with that. However, once you actually care about someone or a situation, and invest your time and your energy, it's hard to let go; it's hard to accept the situation for what it is. But as with everything else that occurs in life, it goes on. You learn to adapt, you realize that what is meant for you will come forward when the time is right.
The purpose of this piece is to explain just how detrimental stress can be to one's body. I've overwhelmed myself with all of the obstacles life had to throw at me so far for the year. I wasn't eating right, I wasn't sleeping, I felt sick. If everything hadn't already went wrong, I was simply waiting for the next thing to come along. Pessimism took over my body and I became very bitter, cold, and negative. I shied away from my close friends, and ultimately wanted to be alone. Days where I could've been productive, were spent in bed trying to figure out this gloomy puzzle of what my life had become.
My healing process includes, sadness, rage, and then detachment. This might be a typical cycle for women; we all have our way with dealing with stress, but this is definitely how I deal with mine. My energy was being consumed by this dark internal cloud, and I needed it to stop. When you no longer care about something that stressed you out immensely, it's extremely euphoric. I'm not 100% sure about how I feel, or if I feel at all; but I can say that I'm focused, and driven on what is important. I've found a light when all I could see was darkness. I'm finding ways to make myself happy, and making the best of it. Life is not perfect. People will let you down. But again... It. Is. Okay.
It's not healthy to dwell on things you cannot change. Why get upset? Why make yourself sick? A couple months from now, what you've cried over isn't even important anymore. Just let it go. (But, let me say that crying is extremely therapeutic and I say do it as often as you need to.) Switching your mentality from broken and helpless to growing and healing is such a major accomplishment. That is a small victory in itself. I believe that obstacles are created to make you realize what you can actually conquer. God doesn't give you something that you cannot handle; it's a mere challenge, a simple test. So you're in a financial hardship, you just got out of a relationship, you're not sure about your current career; are you going to dwell about these things and not prevail/make a change?
Sometimes, you have to take a million steps back to see the bigger picture. It helps you draw the line between what matters and doesn't matter at all. And the more of the picture you see, the more you realize how much energy your'e wasting on unnecessary people and situations. Give your energy to what gives you energy. Save the rest for yourself. Elevate.
italicized words from Jhene Aiko*