The most dangerous thing a woman can do, is make up her mind; come to a final conclusion. When she comes to that point of "this is it" there is no turning back. Our emotions and our feelings are often taken for granted and I feel like we're always forced to reach our breaking point and get over situations. I believe a lot of women settle, and that is something I am vowing so hard not to do. It's a constant battle to control how you feel, because you don't want to seem sensitive, or you don't want to feel weak. No woman wants to ever feel weak; that was repeated for emphasis. Why? Because we are not weak beings to begin with. We strive to do everything on our own; dependence is minuscule. When you're settling, you're clouded by the thought that you need someone and you can't handle what life throws at you all by yourself.
I think every woman is determined to show the opposite that they are not the typical stereotype and that she is more than what is perceived. As a black woman, it is a mission to not be the"angry black woman". It's always at the back of our minds; "I don't want to be that person". As soon as you show a sign of emotion about a situation, you're automatically considered mad or you're considered "hurt". First of all, no one has to bend me out of shape for me to feel the way that I feel; I simply love to voice my opinion. I like to talk about things that guys don't want to talk about. I push those buttons. For example, I went on a slight rant about why as women we should not be forced to settle for a cheating reckless man because his childhood wasn't the best. The first guy that reached out to me about my posts asked me who pissed me off; NO ONE DID. This was simply my opinion based on past experiences. Life is all cause and effect, however, just because your mother didn't hug you enough, doesn't mean that I have to settle for an emotionally unstable man that doesn't want to get out of his own way. You have to learn that on your own; you have to grow and heal. For a very long time, I refused to speak up and let situations go unnoticed and that didn't really get me far. I sympathized for what was wrong and didn't see the bigger picture. Growing up allows you to experience the good and the bad to prepare you for the future. I don't need to be triggered or influenced to let anyone know what I feel is right and what I feel is wrong. This goes for life, love, anything, my experiences molded the way I look at things; these situations have guided me to the opinions that I have now.
At this point in my life, I'm aware of what I want, and if that isn't coming my way, I'm still striving for it. Let's dabble into relationships. At age 25, do you honestly think I'm in the mood to settle for what is convenient? I'm still figuring myself out, granted everyone is, but I am not entertaining the idea of a waste of my time. That time is precious, and I cherish it. I'd rather let go respectively than try to drag out a dead end situation. My most recent break up had to be the most adult break up I've ever endured. It was a mutual agreement and I didn't feel terrible or heartbroken, I was pretty much relieved. Everything doesn't have to work out, as that is a part of life, and I'm okay with that. My younger self would've been distraught and a complete wreck, but I don't waste my energy when I don't have to. Even dealing with being single and re-adjusting, I've noticed that I do not have the same energy for a lot of things. Inconsistency is probably the biggest deal-breaker for me. I do not need to speak to anyone everyday, however, I do value a sense of security or want. I'm going to be completely frank, I don't need anyone, it's the want that holds the value, and as of right now, I don't want anyone. I want to excel in my career; everything else will fall into place.
When you take control of your future, nothing can really get in your way or affect you. My mentality is pretty much set on being positive and strong-minded. There is a current overflow of free-spirited women who are breaking everyday norms and I'm in constant awe of them. Settling isn't an option, being weak isn't a crutch, it's just thinking strongly for yourself without a single worry. I don't react to things that used to get me into my feelings at all. I'm very much in-tune with how I feel in a healthy way that is refreshing and enlightening. I like the pep that's always in my step, and the sparkle that is always in my eyes. Being a woman is such an awesome experience, and when you figure out your worth, it's exhilarating. I'm okay with being by myself and taking on new experiences. Love is a beautiful thing, and it will come when the time is right. For now, I'm focused on what means the most to me and that's growing mentally, spiritually, and financially.
Never settle for less than what you want, always strive for the top tier.