I've noticed that the dating pool in our generation is slim to none. From the outside looking in, we find ourselves dubbing people in which we look up to as "goals" and admire lives we know nothing about. I'm human, I stan celebrities, it's in my nature, I LOVE Rihanna and Beyonce, my readers are well aware, but I don't look at their relationships as an example for what my relationship should look like or be.
Falling in love should be organic, not forced. You shouldn't change for the person you are into or try to change that person either. I've been on both sides of this particular field and it obviously didn't work out. I was with someone who was super insecure and wanted me to dress a certain way, and out of respect mixed mainly with confusion, I followed suit. From the other perspective I tried so hard to mold someone to be the person that I wanted to them to be, and that wasn't fair to either of us. People do change for the ones they love, but it's something that is supposed to naturally happen; it shouldn't be dictated or demanded and it shouldn't be a drastic change. Social media and life causes us to think that what we're currently doing isn't enough. I think the problem with our generation, is that we sometimes think we do not have enough time. Don't believe the hype. I'm learning to be such a patient person, because I know everything will fall into place when the time is right. With patience comes battling your insecurities, and molding yourself to be a better you for YOU; no one else. I think it is imperative to be right with yourself before sharing yourself with anyone else.
I recently saw a post that read "Repeating the same bad habit over and over again, is a form of insanity. There comes a point in your life when you know better, and you have to do better. You owe it to your self. It's just simple." This post spoke volumes to me, because I never looked at a bad habit before as insanity; it's pretty deep when you thoroughly think about it. I have a bad habit that I am in the process of getting rid of because I'm realizing that it's one-sided and unhealthy. I'd like to think that I am not a very complex person to understand, I don't play mind games, and I am very direct. So when things aren't making sense anymore, I cut the situation off and move forward. It's hard sometimes, this one in particular is very hard, and in other instances, it's literally a breeze, but once I realize that a change needs to be made, my mind remains made up. The insane part of this instance comes in when I disregard what my gut is telling me and bounce right back into that unhealthy cycle. I'm striving to break the cycle entirely, because I know my worth.
I'm making trying to date me a process, because the men of this generation are aiming for shortcuts and quite frankly that's corny. (There isn't a better way to say that.) Don't try to take me on a date, and not have a plan. Don't say you'd do something, and then never do it. Don't expect me to think for you. Don't be inconsistent. These are the things that bother me the most, and I try to divert from them in any way possible. Even when I try to go for different types of guys, it seems as though the age range has the same simple-minded thought process which strays me away.
If you know me well, you are seeing that I LOVE my space and I'm enjoying this time away from the world. I'm not in a rush for anything or anybody, so I'm not going to waste my time trying to make something out of nothing. Being single is pretty dope, it builds character. It's making it easier for me to say no to game that used to have me smitten a year ago. If there isn't some type of stability or even a hint of intellect, it isn't going to work out. I'm currently open to shooting my shot rather than waiting for people to get their lives together. Being patient and conscious will work out; I really want people to understand the beauty of being patient, to actually grasp what that can do for you. Don't rush any process whether its your passion or if its a relationship, great things take time. Know yourself before committing to anything and I promise you'll be satisfied with the results.